For most of us, our childhood is the most
precious time of our lives. It's the time that has built us into who we are.
Many people might even wish to travel back in time to their childhood just to
enjoy that carefree life with no responsibilities and no worries.
On the other hand, here I am, someone who,
throughout her childhood, wished to grow up and take charge of her own life. I
would never want to look back at my childhood, and here is the reason why: My
childhood was filled with isolation, self-doubt, self-hatred, and a lot of
aggression. Today, when I look back, I realize that it happened because of a
couple of incidents that took place in my life.
Firstly – It might be from the trauma that I have carried since
birth. My mother was not doing well emotionally and physically when I was born,
due to which I was not only born late (almost reaching the 10th month), but I
was also underweight and was kept in the NICU for a month. This led to a lot of
internal weaknesses and also a skin allergy that I carried throughout my
childhood. This skin allergy was all over my face, leading to a lack of
confidence, fear of speaking my mind in front of anyone, and an inferiority
complex that I was not good enough, allowing people to treat me as if I was
only there to serve them. No self-esteem and no confidence made me more aggressive,
and I could not make friends.
Secondly – My father passed away when I was 8 years old. At that
moment, I was too young to realize what I had lost, but today I feel that one
of the reasons I was insecure in my life was the absence of a father figure.
Despite the fact that my mother has been my strongest and only support
throughout my life, I have learned that, for a girl, a father is a different
kind of strength who helps her understand how to face the world more
confidently. There was always this hollow feeling within me. I had to mature
early, but the problem was I was too young to make my own decisions and speak
up for myself when things were going wrong.
Thirdly – When my mother remarried. At first, everything was
really nice; my now father cared for me a lot. I have a younger brother who is
11 years younger than me, and I feel like a mother to him. We used to go on
weekend outings a lot, and everything was really nice for a year or two. Then
things changed; he suddenly started disliking me. I don't know why, but his
behavior became so cold that, despite being in the same house, we never spoke
to each other. We were never even in the same room at the same time while both
of us were at home. I remember waking up to hearing things like, "Ye ganda
khoon hai, ye life me kabhi kuch nahi kar paegi, ye to paida hi tujhe pareshan
karne ke liye hui hai." Listening to things like these, I spent my whole
school life until class 10th, and I almost started believing that he was right
because I was not good in my studies as well. I was not into sports; I was not
into anything.
This was the phase when I started thinking a
lot about my father and wondered why I was still alive when he was not. It took
a different turn in my head when I became more spiritually aligned with my
purpose in life. Have you ever felt there is this voice inside you telling you
things you should do, but you don't know the reason why? I have always heard
this voice within, and it told me this: "I am meant for bigger things, and
this is only going to make me stronger." I listened to that voice, and in
class 11th, I decided to do what my inner voice clearly said: "I cannot do
something that involves academics."
The phase of Getting Out of My Comfort Zone:
Finally, the phase started when I could take
action and not just complain and wait for others to make decisions for me. I
took charge of my life comparatively earlier than my other classmates. In class
11th, I decided to go for open schooling because I wanted to gain practical
experience and work on my skills. Here was the benefit of my family background,
where everyone had their own business. I believe I inherited the ability to
take risks in life from them. My first risk was leaving regular schooling and
opting for something I hadn't figured out yet. I just knew two things: I didn't
want to go to school, and I wanted to leave my hometown. The first I was able
to do the, but the second was difficult to convince my mom that I was mature
enough to live alone in any random city.
I tried various courses like Tally, animation,
web designing, but nothing was interesting enough for me to continue. I also
realized another thing: I don't want to do a desk job. Now that I am guiding
people, what I find common is that this is the age when you don't know what you
want to do, but you do know what you don't want to do.
My very close cousin's sister one day went for
auditions for Mr. & Miss Uttarakhand in 2009. I tagged along with her just
for the company, and there they asked me to audition too. I did, and I got
selected as well. This was the first time I experienced the feeling of
confidence. This was the phase when I realized how important it was for me to
get out of my comfort zone and do something, especially to improve my
personality, and that was my only purpose in being part of this event. For the
first time in my life, I was also acknowledged for something on stage. I
received the title of Miss Bewitching Smile, my first ever recognition in life.
After participating in a few more local
fashion shows, I realized my real passion: planning, organizing, and managing.
I decided to pursue an event management course in Pune.
Turning point of my
life:
Have you ever felt
that you are doing nothing but just getting opportunities from everywhere? That
phase just started and it went on until I was into jobs. The moment I entered
Pune I kept on getting opportunities to work in events, one after another. Yes,
I did face a lot of cultural shock and office politics but believe me when you
focus on what's in your control nothing else bothers you. I always minded my
own business and worked until I was getting to learn. The day I realized I am
not learning anymore and it's only hampering the mental health I left.
I was about to leave
Pune when I got another call for a life-changing and career-changing
opportunity. I got to work in a Mall as a Marketing Executive. That too when I
had no idea about marketing and I was in the middle of my B.Com degree. I
learned so much there that I can assure you I couldn't have learned in any MBA.
This was the time when I worked on 2 major skills of mine - Interpersonal
skills and Communication skills. I never had a mentor so my learning method was
simple - “Learn from everyone” I used to pick the qualities from people and
tried to adapt those to my work and that has been the best practice for me to
improve.
I am missing a huge
part of my personal life here. Simultaneously while I was busy building my
career and my personality at my home back in Dehradun, my now father was
scheming to get us out of our own house and build a builder's floor there. It
was around 2011-2012 when he demolished our house and moved with my mom to a
rental place. He just kept on making wrong investment decisions and my mom kept
on trying to undo those mistakes without realizing that she was making a few
mistakes too.
Meanwhile, I
moved from one job to another and ended up in my hometown doing a job there.
While I was in this job and staying at home I could see so many wrong decisions
my parents kept on making but I guess I just grew up to the point where I preferred
not to intervene. I realized all three of us - my mother, now a father and I
are too strong-headed and we clash all the time, we just could not agree to the
same thing at any point in time so I decided to just focus on my own career,
something that was in my control.
The Struggles of Entrepreneurship
Challenges like these
started building up -
1. My mother was against the idea of starting my own business.
2. trusted the wrong
people to associate with. They tried to take over my events.
3. I mixed my personal & professional life.
4. I undervalued myself & could not realize my own worth
With lots of self-doubt, I kept on pushing myself, kept on taking up events by
myself, and did a lot of introspection. Recollecting my failures today - I started
an office in Dehradun but had to shut down, I introduced an event and couldn’t
execute it, I built a team but couldn’t retain it.
I took a break of 1 month and went to Goa alone and stayed in solitude. I was
able to identify the pattern here - I was too dependent on others. While
everyone was taking my skills for granted I was not able to use my own skills
to make money. I understood I had to change the nature of my work. It's not
just about what I like doing but also about what my core skill sets in that
work.
I wrote down all the skills that I had used in the past and penned down how I
could use them to grow my business. Three skills - Interpersonal,
Sales/Communication & Problem Solving helped me redesign my business. I
went more in-depth into consultation and not just execution, that is what I
could do individually more strongly. I started providing Events, Marketing
& Sales consultancy to different businesses to help them generate revenue.
I was also invited to colleges to mentor the E-Cells, I was helping hospitals,
retail brands, and educational institutes with their sales & marketing.
During this phase, I again decided to do something to get out of my comfort
zone or just to challenge myself, along with my cousins I decided to create a
recordinn India Book of Records - Covering 15 treks in 20 consecutive days. The
success of this record was also supported by the Uttarakhand Tourism Department
who provided us with the stays at GMVN for all 20 days. This is another victory
that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Embracing New Opportunities
While I was on these treks, another issue
emerged at home: my now father left my mom at the rented place for good,
leaving financial liabilities for my mom. The house property was rumored to be
in conflict, preventing its sale, and my mom was emotionally broken. When I
returned home, I couldn't focus on work; the issues escalated to legal,
financial, and even physical confrontations. I stayed home to care for things,
working but unable to concentrate on my career. I had to be around my mom,
calling her every 1 or 2 hours to check on her. This phase was worse than my
childhood. I'm still dealing with the trauma caused during this time.
During this phase, I:
1. Joined Toastmasters.
2. Started my YouTube channel.
3. Opened an Instagram account for the first
time.
4. Continued assisting a few businesses.
5. Started engaging on LinkedIn.
Just as in my childhood, an inner voice kept
telling me this would pass and things would improve. With this hope, I
continued my efforts, but honestly, problems persisted, though their frequency
decreased.
The best outcome during this phase was during
a two-month bed rest when I focused solely on LinkedIn. The efforts I put in
during 2017 have helped me become a LinkedIn Top Voice today, creating numerous
opportunities.
Another turn of events was when a friend,
starting his journey, said, "We are moving to Goa, and you should come
with us." Another inner voice said, "This is calling; this is
important; you should go." But my practical mind said, "I can't leave
my mom alone; she needs me." My mom, however, said, "You need to go
and focus on your life; we can handle this better alone."
I carried guilt, feeling I had no right to be
happy while my family was in trouble. This burden led me to mix my personal and
professional life again. I experienced episodes of anger at work and numerous
breakdowns. Fortunately, I had understanding people around me who overlooked
these incidents.
With the team's support, we achieved remarkable
results at work. Within a year, we scaled the business to ₹2 crore, securing
5,000 enrollments. I guided individuals in their career growth, hired and
trained a team of 30, and organized successful events, and the business
flourished, especially post-pandemic as people became more active online.
I sensed when it was time to move on and start
my own venture again, this time making wiser decisions. While creating content
on LinkedIn, I decided to help people find the right career path. Having been on
both sides of the table—interviewing and being interviewed—I understood what
companies and candidates seek. During the second wave, amid widespread layoffs,
a friend's job loss made me realize that people were using ineffective
approaches to job applications. That's when I developed the Skill Up Programme,
a recorded course with personalized support to help job seekers find suitable
positions.
Simultaneously, I was posting content on
LinkedIn and YouTube when LinkedIn offered me the Top Voice in Job Search &
Careers recognition. Today, 80% of my revenue is generated organically through
LinkedIn. I've delivered two Josh Talks in two years, been featured on
platforms like Dainik Bhaskar, awarded by the Governor of Uttarakhand as one of
India's Top 100 Creators, and honored by Saina Nehwal and Munaf Patel for my
contributions as a Career Coach.
Currently, I assist individuals with interview
preparation, personal brand building, sales and communication, and overall soft
skills development.
As I conclude this article, I want to share
two things that have helped me the most in life. Firstly, ask yourself the
right questions. Deep down, our inner voice always guides us correctly, but the
questions we pose must be appropriate. Secondly, no matter how low you feel,
making decisions driven by temporary emotions—anger, ego, love, empathy—won't
lead you down the right path.
Lastly, regardless of the career path you
choose, don't neglect developing your selling and interpersonal skills. They
can take you far.