Crucial Success Skills Forged Through My Journey
Love and authenticity have always helped me follow the correct 'Whys' in decision-making without focusing on the difficulty or cost. Courage and perseverance came in handy for figuring out and sticking to the 'How's', regardless of the difficulty. Faith, at the end of the day, is what kept me going whenever I hit rock bottom. For the last four decades, life has been no less than a battlefield for me.
Childhood: Born into a lower-middle-class family I had an alcoholic, abusive & physically violent father. Given this, I witnessed extreme domestic abuse daily even suicide attempts by my mother. All this led me to develop anxiety by the age of 8. As a growing teenager, I tried my best to take responsibility of an adult figure at home and tried to protect my mother from the regular abuse.
Early Youth: I cracked the SSB interview for NDA in my first attempt and joined academy with full vigor however within few months I was diagnosed with chest tuberculosis and was not even able to walk due to weakness. I decided to fight it and took the treatment for an year, however within few months I had a relapse. This time everyone told me to quit training and save my previous time, health, and energy but I did not give up. I started from scratch again, recovered my health, became fighting fit in one year and joined back the training. With the deep impact of my struggle I chose to become a helicopter pilot with a motto to save lives, and successfully finished my training with flying colors.
Crafting Creative Opportunities from Every Challenge
Adversities are our biggest friends; what makes or breaks us is not the adversity but what we make out of it. I don’t just believe it; I know it. Having faced numerous challenges that were tagged as impossible and successfully overcome them has taught me one thing: “Nothing is impossible for a truly disciplined will.” While facing a challenge, I focus only on my intent and commitment, because I feel it is the intent and commitment that creates and maintains the drive. If you have it, you will never stop trying until you win. Through my spiritual journey, I realized that to win over bigger challenges the mind, body, and spirit needs to be aligned. When these three forces are in harmony, any goal can be achieved.
Late Twenties: I reached home and saw my elder sister in severe depression and my mother on the verge of succumbing to physical injuries and poor health due to the domestic abuse. Despite me taking them along to look after their well being I faced social boycott, social stigma and my father’s death threats. Without flinching from my stand, I helped my elder sister regain mental health, got her married playing all responsibilities of a father and looked after the treatment of my mother. However, having overlooked myself in the journey all the cumulative stress took a toll on my personal and mental health. I gradually developed issues in my marriage as well.
Thirties: I went through a divorce and hit a mental breakdown in my early thirties. The closest I have been to giving up in life. But my infant son became my inspiration. I went against the tide and public opinion that as a father, I wouldn’t be able to look after a one-year-old child and chose to take his custody and became his primary caregiver. I had to sacrifice my professional ambitions, social life, financial goals and focus my entire time at home. With my mother's support, I barely managed it. While I was struggling to settle into this new life, in 2019 India conducted the airstrike in POK that escalated to a conflict with the western adversary. I carried my child to the field along and participated with full energy.
My Impact
Charity begins at home, and I believe the best service one can do for society is to raise emotionally healthy kids. While I don’t claim to be a perfect father, I have made my best efforts to be the biggest shock absorber one can be. Despite all the odds me and my son faced, we evolving into a healthy and happy individuals and inspiring others to have hope is what I feel is our humble contribution.
Having said that, sharing resources with the world and letting the energy flow has been our family principle. From working to help hundreds of stranded migrant laborers and hungry stray animals during covid, to providing financial assistance to those in need, not just me but my son as well has been involved in social work for the last five years.
I am a registered member of two NGOs: Narayan Sewa Sans, which works for the especially abled, and My Story Trust, which focuses on the education of poor children and women empowerment. As a principle, any monetary gains from my brand collaborations or life coaching sessions I provide have always been diverted to these two NGOs. In the last year itself, these donations have provided artificial limbs to five individuals in need and basic education to more than 10 children. It has been a win-win approach for me, as I have not only succeeded in helping these lesser fortunate individuals financially but also those making these donations through life coaching, helping them lead a healthier, more peaceful, and more evolved life.
Scaling New Heights in Personal and Professional Triumphs
I believe success is not about winning or losing, but about how well one played. In the broader schema of things, I feel that if we are living a life in balance and harmony with the world, other beings, and nature, and if with time and age we are growing in awareness, values, and wisdom while shrinking in needs and our sense of entitlement, then we are successful. If we can spend the present moment with peace and joy and share it with others regardless of the challenges at hand, we are successful. I have set a benchmark for myself to serve selflessly. With passing years, I want to focus less on my own material growth and more on serving the Universe. I feel that as humans to live selfishly only for ourselves while most of the other beings on our planet suffers for food, peace, and basic needs can be considered as a failure for all of us.
During the Covid times, in the first peak of the pandemic, I began social work, risking my life, and worked daily in the field to provide migrant laborers and stray animals in Lucknow with food and medicines. My mother was suddenly diagnosed with a brain tumor, which led to paralysis in entire body. I shuffled between cities and hospitals with my 5-year-old son in the middle of the first wave without any support. My mother's condition deteriorated, and she reached a palliative state. Itv was during this time that I started studying psychology and gained insight into my own journey.
I made mindfulness my anchor and dwelled into scriptures and texts on spirituality, Yoga, Ayurveda, astrology, and other subjects from ancient Indian wisdom. I helped my son recover from separation anxiety and developed a deep bond of friendship with him. After a traumatizing year, my mother passed away. We gradually adapted to the new life with each other, without any support. While on most of the days I had to work relentlessly for more than 16 hours to meet the work requirements at the office and be available as both a father and mother at home, the journey taught me a great deal of lessons from parenting. I found my own inner wounded child and started healing together. We both by choice transitioned to a Satvik life to heal our body and mind.
The Synergy Between My Path and Recognition Values
If there is one thing I have been known for in my life, it has been for doing what everyone felt was impossible. From fighting the relapse of TB and still finishing military training to raising my infant son as a single father, facing the painful journey of my mother’s brain tumor, to now facing spinal stenosis and neural compromise at this early age, life has never stopped throwing setbacks my way. But I don’t intend to ever give up. Having lived by the mantra of NEVER SAY DIE, I believe if my life was a documentary, the title would be “Against All Odds.”
Public Recognition and Applause: I received love and applause from the public and many media houses, even organisations like UNICEF, after my story went viral on social media platforms. Filled with gratitude, I felt the need to share the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding that helped me overcome the difficult times with those in need. I became a life coach, providing free guidance to people in exchange for the contribution they make to two NGOs (Narayan Sewa Sans than working for the especially abled and My story trust working for the education of poor children and women empowerment).
A New Challenge Awaits: After being nominated for this award, I recently developed severe pain in my arms and back. The MRI reported spinal stenosis along with neural compromise. As a result, I am not able to bear any load with my arms. It took me two weeks to reach a manageable state and even type my story. While the doctors have expressed inability to help in this situation, once again Simba and Mufasa are gearing up to take on this new challenge. Because we both believe that “Koshish Karne Walon Ki Kabhi Haar Nhi Hoti” (Those who try never lose). On my way to make one more impossible possible.